Ideally, both of a child’s parents work together to help ensure their children’s emotional and physical well-being. However, the reality can be far more complicated. Some co-parents might have been neglectful or uninvolved during the marriage. Yet, they may suddenly begin to assert their parental rights as divorce looms.
Unfortunately, this is often not out of newfound love or commitment, but as a strategy to gain shared custody. This strategy is usually used to avoid child support payments or save face in legal proceedings. Recognizing these strategic behaviors can help prepare the more consistent parent for what lies ahead in family court.
1. Sudden over-involvement in parenting
A parent who was previously distant, disinterested or emotionally unavailable may suddenly become extremely involved in the child’s life. This shift might include:
- Attending school events
- Initiating daily routines
- Volunteering for childcare responsibilities they long avoided
While increased involvement might appear positive on the surface, it’s important to look at the context. Is this a genuine change of heart, or a calculated move to look competent and engaged in court?
2. Manufacturing a “friendly” co-parenting dynamic
As separation becomes inevitable, some co-parents go out of their way to appear cooperative and amicable. They might:
- Suggest informal co-parenting arrangements
- Send polite texts
- Offer to take the children “to give you a break”
However, this friendliness may have an ulterior motive. Courts highly value the ability of co-parents to communicate and cooperate. They aim to present themselves as ideal co-parents by pretending to be reasonable.
3. Creating a “stable” environment on paper
Another tactic involves making their living situation appear ideal for the children. This might include:
- Moving to a larger home
- Purchasing furniture or toys
- Suddenly framing their home as “kid-friendly”
While courts do consider each parent’s living conditions, the emphasis is on consistency, safety and the child’s emotional well-being, not just appearances.
Divorce and custody battles are emotionally draining, often especially when one parent begins to play the system to gain shared custody without a track record of consistent parenting. Individuals experiencing this from a co-parent should enlist legal guidance to safeguard their children’s well-being accordingly. Bottom of Form